This past Tuesday was infusion day number nine!! And it was a most disappointing and discouraging day. First, we learned at the weigh in that I'd dropped three pounds, and then, we learned that the most recent CEA tumor marker blood test indicated a level of 17!! The previous test had registered an 8.2, so this spike was a real shocker. What this means is any one's guess. Either the cancer has regrouped in the face of the infusions to attack afresh, or else, as one oncologist explained it to us, this is an anomaly like "background noise." At any rate, Susan and I were most discouraged and cried out to the Lord for His great mercies. He soon supplied me a measure of hope from His Word, specifically in Proverbs 18:14 - "The spirit of a man can endure his sickness, but as for a broken spirit who can bear it?" This was my regular Tuesday morning Scripture read in the McCheyne Plan, a Bible reading program I've been on for several years now, and it couldn't have been more appropriate or timely. The spirit of a man has been empowered by God to endure, but when broken it can bear nothing and burdens the very soul in which it resides! On Wednesday as I scoured Proverbs 19 I found no such words of hope or encouragement, but God sovereignly arranged my week so as to give me a special text at the exact time I needed it most! Praise be to His holy name!
I know I'm in for a battle, but battle on I will as long as God gives me strength to go on. I have so much to live for, and so many co-battlers willing to go the extra mile and battle with us in prayer and extraordinary intercession even through the tough miles when hopes would appear to be dashed. With renewed hope even as I write this to you, I pledge to battle on through whatever lies ahead in the pathway to healing.