Monday, February 1, 2010

Happy February

I awoke this morning thinking about my mother-in-law Lucie's property tax, of all things. I couldn't remember if they were paid in November; I couldn't even remember if we had received a bill for them. I jumped out of bed and began to research my notes and found the statements, the pay stubs were missing, but my usual paid notations were not there. I went to the online banking account and found a check in the correct amount. Took a look at the check, it was dated November 6 and Bryan had signed it. Obviously, one of the last checks I had him sign for her. This also explains why I had no recollection of the transaction taking place. A lot has happened in my mind since November 6.

Last night, I was talking with some friends about my own memory issues. For years, I have had difficulty remembering things. Bryan always told me it was a season and it would all come back to me. I am glad he had confidence in that; I'm not so sure. The children and I have been trying to memorize the book of James. They pick it up so fast and I keep struggling with it. It becomes quite comical at times. We review all together and then each one says it alone. I can review with the group fine, and silently with each one I am fine, but when it is my turn, I can barely get passed the first sentence. We all laugh and it is good humor, at the same time, my inability to recall something we have worked on over and over again bothers me.

We are slowly returning to a normal schedule. The children are back to the grind with school and their various activities. It is an election year which has Sarah committed to a campaign and following the happenings in Olympia and around the country. Jonathan and David plan on beginning their college educations spring quarter. David and Josiah are working their way up the ranks of Civil Air Patrol; their first promotion is tonight. Esther, Daniel, Hannah and Grace have added Highland Dance back into their schedule. James, well, he keeps us all busy! I'm just the mom trying to keep everything moving forward.

Recently, I was struggling with the thought of being both mom and dad to my children. There is no way I can fill Bryan's shoes. He was so much more to my children than I can even dream of being. While sharing this concern to a friend, they told me I don't have to be anything but their mother. God has called me to be the mother and that is my responsibility. That revelation removed a burden and I can trust in God's Word when He says He is a father to the fatherless.

My crazy start to the day has things a bit out of order. I need to spend sometime in the Word before my family descends upon me looking for breakfast. Thank you for your continual prayers. God is so merciful, kind and loving. I am so thankful I am part of the family of God.

In His Grace,
Susan

6 comments:

Victoria said...

Someone once told me that God doesn't have "grandchildren", but that each child of ours is directly a child of His. He would speak to the child and care for her or him. That helped me when my girls went off to college and I felt they were "alone". They weren't, of course. I liked your revelation that God called you to be a mother and that was sufficient. Mothers are gentle and loving but also wise and strong.

Joan said...

Sorry for the crazy start to your day, Susan. It's good to hear from you on the blog - I look forward to the next time we get to chat in person. Hugs to you.

Dina said...

Awwww....thank you for posting....so sweet about the kids and their activities...Bryan would surely be pleased. God bless you all in 2010. Love, D

Jeannie said...

Dear Susan
It's nice to hear how things are going. I think and pray for you and your family often. I'm thankful you have your children all still at home so you can enjoy their company, and keep busy with their needs!!
Blessings,
Jeannie

Art Lutz said...

Hi Susan--I just listened to a CD sermon by Scott Gilchrist, which was delivered Nov 15, 2009 on Psalm 139:17-24. His message included many nice comments about you and Bryan. You probably know about this, but just in case I wanted you to be aware.

Art

maureen said...

Thanks for sharing your life, you are a friend of a friend. Blessings on you, peace, grace and the love of Christ which flows through you.